


Where the Sun Meets the Ocean

by akgerhardt



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M, four dumbasses with issues try to save the world, inspired by that aquaphago au on tumblr, mild graphicness and death in the first chapter, not sure if this is considered body horror, preapocalyptic shenanigans
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-01
Updated: 2020-01-01
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:33:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22074805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/akgerhardt/pseuds/akgerhardt
Summary: https://youtu.be/6E5m_XtCX3c
Relationships: Jake English/Dirk Strider
Kudos: 7





	Where the Sun Meets the Ocean

If there was some sort of deity out there, now would be a great time to become religious, Jake mused. 

He's exhausted, dehydrated as hell, and utterly alone in this vast desert. He tried his hardest to make it through, but he was forced into the situation and physically incapable of carrying the necessary provisions to get far, not to mention unadapted to the arid, shadeless expanse. His sunburns have sunburns, his feet are caked in dried blood, there's dust  _ everywhere,  _ and he feels so sick from the heat alone. It’s all too much, and he blames himself for being too weak and stupid to survive, thinking that it might have been better to face a quicker death at the hands of his oppressors. The world he's known is a terrifying, horrible place that worsens by the second, and it's beyond him how the whole thing hasn't burst into flames already. Those apocalyptic horsemen are sleeping on the job and letting their charges do all the work for them, he supposes... But no, the harsh reality is that there truly is no sense to be made of anything, no "bigger plan" or means for salvation. There's nothing. Nada. Zilch. He's a certified expert on the matter, as he's tried believing in just about every higher power. He can admit now that he was just seeking solace from the entropy of existence, since this is the end. Any last words?

_ … I don't want to hurt anymore, but I'm afraid to die. I'm just so tired of being a failure and a schmuck. If there's anyone, anything out there... You've gone off your rocker, old boy. No one's listening; stop bruising your metaphorical gums. _

He obliges himself, mental silence easy to maintain with rapidly failing organs. He had a trip through the desert hallucinations earlier; now he's just laying like a ragdoll on the dry, cracked earth, too weak to even open his eyes anymore. The sunlight shines through them blindingly enough, seeming to only grow brighter as fuzziness clouds in on his mind. He's so, so tired, too tired to even feel sore or hot or thirsty anymore. His remaining moments are pleasantly thoughtless as he's lulled into unconsciousness. 

* * *

"... I think I'm gonna be sick."

"No, no, no you ain't. Keep 'em down."

"Trying," is the muffled response, accompanied by sloshes. 

"How much longer are we gonna give it? He's like one more gross memory away from makin' a tidal wave."

"Give it a few minutes! There has to be at least a smidge left in this pruneman; otherwise she wouldn't’ve made us bother…"

Dirk continues to vocalize his disgust as he curls in on himself, faced away from the body but still trying to draw out its lifeforce. 

"No offense, but -hic- this isn't our forté. He... he might be too far gone."

"Hush; you're doing great. Just keep focusing."

"S' true. I'm pickin' up gay vibes now that def aren't yours." 

"Thank fuck," he grumbles, devoting more attention now that a sliver of hope has appeared. 

…

"There!" Roxy shouts excitedly, pointing to the faint, invisible energy they managed to gather. 

"Aaand got it! Excellent job, everyone!" 

He exhales in relief, relaxing as he waits for the girls to work their magic on the corpse and "soul" retrieved. It’s transformed, transubstantiated in brilliant cyan energy. They all had a hunch on what form it would take, but nothing could have prepared them for its manifestation before them. 

If the man was any brighter, he'd be eye-searing. He seems to be composed entirely of light and sand. 

"... Hey, not bad. S'about time we got another stud around here."

"Please."

"Alright, alright. For reals, though, you kicked ass! You too, Jane- as per-fuckin-usual."

They thank her simultaneously, then manage tired laughs. The being has yet to awaken, so they just recline and wait.

"That was a shit way to go."

"You sayin' ours weren't?" 

"What? No. I'm just stating a fact; the dude had a joke of a life. It was the equivalent of whiffing ass day in and day out."

"M' only teasin', but blegh," she mutters, stroking his back. The fish there scatter, only to return cautiously as a slight kinetic warmth grows. He closes his eyes, letting her ease his tension.

She whips up their human facades before the newcomer regains consciousness so as not to scare him back to death. He opens his eyes slowly, dazed. They avoid staring, feigning preoccupation with individual tasks. It takes him a while to remember what happened, but then he finds himself able to move with ease again, cooled down and rejuvenated. He gapes at the illusion of his healed skin, wiggling his fingers experimentally. 

"... H. H- oly shishkabobs…"

"Oh, heyyy! You're awake!"

He sits up, fully alert now and glancing around.

"Welcome back! My name is Jane. How are you feeling?"

"What… happened?"

"You died."

**_"Dirk,"_ ** the girls admonish in dismay.

"Sorry. Just don't see why we should lie- it fucked me up, and I doubt it would do him any favors... Look, you're not dead anymore. You’re also not alive. Welcome to the eternal crisis of godhood."

…

He squeaks, scrambling to his feet. 

"Great, lookit what you did," Roxy sighs.

"I must be dreaming- I must! I don't remember the last time I could speak…"

"Hey, dude, relax. What's your name?"

"... Jake? I think. I've officially lost my remaining marbles."

"Alright, Jake. Can you remember anything else?"

They wait with baited breath as he ponders.

"Just... fleeing. I got separated from the rest when they were intercepted, and I- I shouldn't have escaped. I ran out into the middle of friggin' nowhere while the vehicles rounded them up and took the females and children captive. I'm such a coward; I should've stayed and put up a fight-"

"Ok, so, you were a refugee. If it’s worth anything, there was nothing anyone in your party could've done. You were forced into a barren wasteland, powerless and defenseless. Not your fault. We don't need you dealing with survivor's guilt on top of fuck knows what else- got it?"

Jake nods reluctantly, rubbing his arm. 

"This can't be real. I don’t understand… What were you saying about godhood?"

Jane covers Dirk’s mouth, stepping forward.

"We were fortunate enough to overcome the laws of this dimension, courtesy of a galactic force spearheaded by a friendly alien. Roxy here found you as its next "chosen one." In short, you're now a supernatural element of our universe with the capacity to influence certain aspects of it. With such potential, it's imperative that you join us to become a proper Guardian."

"... Like Jack Frost in  _ Rise of the Guardians?"  _

...

__ "What?"

"You know, the 2012 film!"

"Yeahhh, we kinda don't keep up with that shiz... Anyhoo, here's the deal! None of us can remember our own deaths- we get told them like imma bout to. The forms we take are related to our surroundings ala footprints or photo negatives, and you died 'cause you turned into beef jerky, so you're basically made of sunshine. Jane's the oldest of our posse- she died durin' the Civil War and s'made of plants. I died in an alley in the eighties, so I'm made of nonexistent boxes and kitties! Dirky's the newest next to you; he drowned, so… You gonna show him, or-"

"Brace yourself for sheer weirdness." 

Just like that, his living appearance fades back to water and marine life. Jake’s eyes bug out, and his gape mirrors the nearest fish.

"H… H."

"Yeah, that's a p normal response. Watch this-"

She taps Dirk’s side gently, and the minnows there startle, darting off. He looks pretty apathetic about it. 

After several minutes, Jake manages a "How?"

"Simple- there is no explanation. We're not bound to reality anymore."

"... Can I? If that's alright." 

"Knock yourself out."

He scoots closer to Dirk, hesitantly poking him. He feels solid and normal enough, albeit cool and silicone-like. His finger leaves a faint indentation that disappears.

"Whoah… Sweet!"

"That's a first."

"Hey, I told you you're hot shit!" 

"Dudewise."

"So they're not  _ real  _ real? And- And neither are the felines?"

"Nope! That'd be a fuckin' nightmare," she snorts, reverting to show off her abundance of felines and tiny cubes. Unlike Dirk, they surround her- her actual form is pitch black nothingness. She reaches up to pet one of them, extending her opposite arm for Jake to do the same. He does so with bewildered excitement, scritching the back of its ears as it nuzzles him. 

"This is the cat's pajamas," he informs them matter-of-factly. 

"Word. And lookit Janey with her pretty flowers and thorns and hentai vines-" 

"Are you ready to see your form?"

"Sorry! Uh, sure. You’re stunning as well."

She smiles in acknowledgement, and Roxy reverts him. He blinks, adjusting to the light and glancing over himself.

"... Oh. Is this a good thing?"

"Neutral. It’s the way we use our completely unrelated powers that determines alignment."

"He's just salty 'cause he's fulla saltwater. Like, for a voidy person it  _ kinda _ makes sense that I'm see-through? Jane bein' plants could be related to life, and… huh. I dunno what sand has to do with... whatever your schtick is, but Dirk got shafted. P sure the ocean has fuckall to do with soul majiks."

…

"Sorry, I don't think I grasped any of that."

"It means that I was given pseudo-lightning and symbiotic imaginary friends, since I'm  _ a dumb bitch who went swimmin' with the fishies,"  _ he smirks, impersonating Roxy.

"Shaddup, that's just mean."

Jane ignores them.

"Calliope said that he wouldn't have been able to exist as multiple personas simultaneously, and his power is dangerous when consolidated in one body."

"Beg pardon, but who's this Cal-I-oh-pay?"

"Our aforementioned interstellar friend. You can meet her someday! But first, we got shit to do. You have- drumroll- a quest! Once you fill it you'll become a full-fledged godling like us with access to all your powers."

"Okie dokes! What am I supposed to do?" 

"That's the fun part- we have no fuckin' clue. Apparently, figuring it out is "essential" to the process."

"Alrighty, ah… So she didn't provide any tips or guidelines?" 

They shake their heads. 

"It may take a while. Years, even." 

Jake fails to hide his disappointment. 

…

"Heyyy, chin up! You don't gotta do it alone."

"... But if we don't exist and our superpowers aren't even real, then what's the rootin' tootin'  _ point?!" _

"Depends on how you look at it."

"We may not be relevant in the physical sense anymore, but our duty as guardians is to restore and protect the natural balance of the world by ensuring the survival of life itself. As you likely realize, our planet has reached its tipping point."

"... What can  _ I  _ do about that?"

"Our abilities have little to no direct impact on anything, so we try our best to assist the living with our influence." 

"But… but how? From what I'm hearing, I can't do diddlysquat!" 

He goes to flop back down in the sand and finds himself hovering several inches above it. He startles, then falls flat on the ground. Roxy smiles sympathetically, floating over. 

"Imma be real with you: none of us can. The name of the game is hackin' it to make it happen on its own."

"Accepting that you control jackshit except yourself, influencing people to beat back the worst aspects of  _ themselves, _ being a joke of a puppetmaster for the greater good, etc, etc. It sucks soggy asswipes, but if I figured it out, you can, too."

"He's right, more or less. We help each other to get to where we need to be, and we'll be with you every step of the way… Except, of course, the matters that only you are equipped to deal with. In those situations, we'll be rooting from the sidelines! And I presume you'll do the same for us?"

"It's all about friendship and teamwork, Jakeroo! You in, or you wanna go back to disintegratin'?"

…

"Let’s win one for the Gipper and turn these godforsaken tides around."

**Author's Note:**

> It's another draft, to literally no one's surprise. I should look into beta readers for the heaps of hot garbage that I weave into existence, but I'll probably just keep editing on my lonesome and fixing mistakes along the way. 
> 
> Let’s do our best to make this a good year.


End file.
